9 Ways Men can Appear more Attractive to Women
1. Look for the universal signals of flirtation.
Rutgers
University anthropologist and best-selling author Helen E. Fisher says
that from the depth of the Amazons to the cafés of Paris, women signal
interest with a remarkably similar sequence of expressions.
As she shared at Psychology Today, it goes like this:
First
the woman smiles at her admirer and lifts her eyebrows in a swift,
jerky motion as she opens her eyes wide to gaze at him. Then she drops
her eyelids, tilts her head down and to the side, and looks away.
Frequently she also covers her face with her hands, giggling nervously
as she retreats behind her palms.
This
sequential flirting gesture is so distinctive that [German ethologist
Irenaus] Eibl-Eibesfeldt was convinced it is innate, a human female
courtship ploy that evolved eons ago to signal sexual interest.
2. Look for someone 'in your league.'
Men — and women — are attracted to people who are as attractive as they are.
"If
you go for someone roughly equally to you in attractiveness, it avoids
two things," Nottingham Trent University psychologist Dr. Mark Sergeant
tells The Telegraph.
"If
they are much better-looking than you, you are worried about them going
off and having affairs," he says. "If they are much less attractive,
you are worried that you could do better."
3. Present yourself as high status.
In
1969, University of North Carolina sociologist Glen Elder found that
looks and wealth tend to find one another — namely, good-looking women
tended to settle down with less attractive but wealthier men.
Since then, it's become a well-confirmed finding in the social sciences.
Most
recently, a 2010 study found that men pictured with a Silver Bentley
Continental GT were way more attractive than those pictures with a Red
Ford Fiesta ST, and a 2014 study found that men pictured in luxury
apartment were more attractive than those in a control group.
Why the attraction to resources? Evolutionary psychologists say it's because women want a mate who can provide for them.
4. Look older.
As
a 2010 study of 3,770 people showed, women often prefer older men. As
they become more financially independent, they like older guys even
more.
"We
think this suggests greater financial independence gives women more
confidence in partner choices, and attracts them to powerful, attractive
older men," lead author and University of Dundee psychologist Fhionna
Moore said in a statement.
Evolutionary
psychologists say that younger women and older men often pair up
because while fertility only lasts from puberty to menopause in women,
it starts at puberty and can extend long into midlife for many men — and
they have a greater opportunity to accumulate status and resources.
5. Grow a light beard.
While some claim that the beard trend is over, the research says it's not.
According
to a 2013 Australian study, the most attractive beard length is "heavy
stubble," which comes after about 10 days of growth.
"Facial
hair correlates not only with maturity and masculinity, but also with
dominance and aggression," write authors Barnaby J. Dixson and Robert C.
Brooks.
"An intermediate level of beardedness is most attractive," they added.
It only takes a bit of maintenance to keep that 10-day beard all the time.
6. Build muscle (but not too much).
A
2007 University of California at Los Angeles study found that women are
more likely to have short-term relationships with guys who have big
muscles.
The evolutionary signal at work here?
Sexual
characteristics like muscularity are "cues of genes that increase
offspring viability or reproductive success," say authors David A.
Frederick and Martie G. Haselton.
But
Frederick and Haselton took away another telling finding: Less-muscular
men were thought to be a better fit for long-term relationships.
7. Be kind.
One
of the most robust findings in psychology is the halo effect, a bias
where you unconsciously take one aspect of somebody as a proxy for their
overall character. It's why we think beautiful people are good at their
jobs, even when they aren't.
But as Scott Barry Kaufman at Greater Good notes, the halo effect works in other ways too.
A
2014 Chinese study found that people who had positive personality
traits — like kindness and honesty — were rated as more attractive than
those with negative personality traits, like being evil or mean.
"Even
though beauty is an assessment of fitness value, there is no reason why
assessment of fitness needs to be purely physical," Kaufman writes,
meaning that being kind makes you look like you'd be a stable,
worthwhile mate.
8. Talk about your emotions.
Contrary to the 1950s ideal of the aloof breadwinner, women are into men who can talk about their feelings.
"When
men are vulnerable women find them more desirable both emotionally and
sexually," says psychologist and life coach Lisa Kaplin.
"Being
vulnerable will not hurt men's masculinity: just the opposite," she
continues. "Emotionally well-rounded men are more desirable to more
women and are ultimately likely to be emotionally stable and better
long-term partners than men who are closed up and unwilling to share
intimate parts of their lives."
9. Wear red.
A
2010 cross-cultural study — with participants from China, England,
Germany, and the US — found that women are most attracted to men wearing
red.
It's
been a symbol of status since at least the Roman times, when the most
powerful men were called coccinati, the ones who wear red. Red works for
women, too.
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